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Director: Bad_CRC Review by Kyle Gilman
Beginning with a nearly unaltered presentation of the Zero Wing opening cinematic (the only change being a deliciously deadpan computerized voice-over) CRC refrains from cheap satire and allows the game's deficiencies to speak for themselves. As the sequence slowly fades out, the previously imperceptible beat builds as a picture of the Earth (CRC's first visual change from the original) zooms in to fill the screen. Unfortunately, at this crucial transition between setup and payoff, CRC's pacing falters slightly. The cinematic fades away just a bit too slowly, and there is a brief pause during which the viewer is unsure of how the film will proceed. Fortunately, he quickly recovers from this misstep as the real project of the film is revealed. Suddenly the screen is flooded with image after image of stunningly realized, digitally altered photographs, the majority bearing one of the most memorably bad lines from the cinematic, "All your base are belong to us." At first the viewer is disoriented by the change in pace as four images flash by in quick succession; The Hollywood sign, a Star Wars: Special Edition box of Kellogg's Corn Flakes, a sign peeking out above a flooded area, and (especially clever) a road sign directing motorists to such exotic locales as "All Your Base" and "Belong to Us." Each image is just barely given enough time to register before being replaced by the next. But finally, after this blinding quartet of images, the film takes a much-needed pause on a storefront bearing those hilarious words we all want to see. At this point the viewer is finally allowed to savor the skill and effort expended in creating these digital manipulations. This image is especially notable for its use of neon signs in the window, seamlessly integrated with the original photograph.
Following this image, the film continues in much the same fashion. Some of the less-perfectly realized images are quickly flashed by before the film comes to rest on one of the many truly inspired gems sprinkled liberally throughout the piece. Some of the best include a cigarette pack bearing a warning from the Surgeon General that "All your base are belong to us." (Even a die-hard smoker might think twice about picking up a pack with that warning on it!) a building with windows lit up in the shape of everyone's favorite new catch phrase, and of course:
The film is much longer than one might expect. Every time it seems to be drawing to a close, one more sequence flashes by at lightning speed. But rather than being a weakness, it only servers to make the joke stronger. However, it is not without it problems. Not all of the images in the film are top-notch, some of the pacing seems arbitrary, and the decision to place OJ Simpson's altered mugshot as the second-to-last image is trite and rather dated, but aside from these minor faults, the film is truly wonderful and should enjoy intense popularity on the Internet for several hours. Note: It has come to our attention that there are at least two versions of the film in circulation. The first is described above, the second is essentially the same although it has an improved ending with a delightful return to the Zero Wing cinematic as its final shot.
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© 2000-2001 Jiminy
Critic Movie Reviews All rights reserved.
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Of all the recent unplanned and unexplainable Internet phenomena, the Shockwave incarnation of
